ConsumInt (consumint) – english V

*english version of kick ass shit > just got in. njoy ur assez.

I was motivated to write this piece trying to give a sarcastic commentary to stupidity of Russian politicians regarding the Internet censorship they are digging. My text, which you are about to read after the news below, has become a universal SF analysis –predicament of the World of Shit if someone even thinks of not undertaking to do a thing regarding basic human freedoms.

Russian Wikipedia strikes against the Internet censorship

As a sign of protest against the decision of its community, the Russian Wikipedia shall be closed on 10 July, since, as published on their Wikimedia page: “Russian Duma” (ГосударственнаяДума) is currently debating adopting a law which would enable the Government to make a black list of websites and IP addresses with subsequent filtering and utilize this black list, creating a real censorship of the Internet.”

The lobbyists and activists who support the amendments claim that the amendments are targeting only to ban content such as child pornography and “similar things”. However, the objectors to these amendments claim: “The conditions for determining and evaluating the content under this law shall create something similar to the Great Chinese Wall in the field of information freedom.” “The existing legal practice in Russia indicates a great possibility for the worst case scenario in which it could be possible to even disable the Wikipedia access in the whole Russia”, it is stated in the Russian Wikimedia statement. The tactics of using child pornography in order to introduce the Internet censorship has long since been recognised and the copyright lobby uses it in abundance.

On11 July, the second reading of the Law shall take place in the State Duma. The Law should come into force after the third reading, for which the date has not yet been determined.


Corrupt politicians and corporations are breaking the boundaries of common sense, again. They are trying to convince us that we shall resolve the child pornography issue by turning a blind eye to every problem.

Again, well-known excuses for the purpose of fascist control, “child pornography on the Internet”, “encouraging drug use”, “suicide tips”

If you are, by chance, too distracted to see through things, I shall give you a description below, of how typical news on fascist TV channels worldwide looks or shall look. This kind of news are used for brainwashing purposes in the UK, USA, Yemen, China, New Zealand, Brazil, Albania… Everywhere, the country is insignificant today.

Kill yourselves or get out of my way if your life is similar to this pattern.

Kill yourselves or get out of my way if your life is similar to this pattern.

So, here it is how it shall look:

###National Precaution Measures
“Our nation is under great threat caused by terrorism, drug addiction, crime and sick rapists. We, as responsible representatives of our nation, are implementing serious and responsible measures in order to preserve our children and our nation.

By implementing the newest and most sophisticated system for analysis and evaluation of the psychological state of citizens we shall close all accesses for evil people who might find themselves in a situation to kill a whole bus of children on an excursion. Also, people with parenting issues shall not have access to water and electricity, which they can use for drowning their children in the bathtub or to torture the neighbour’s children, which they might kidnap. Public squares and areas shall be protected by special stealth green sensors because bad people might gather there and organize distribution of drugs to children. By the way, we watch and protect all public areas by means of virtually indestructible CCTV system and certified private security (which is a part of certified international network). We have clearly labelled all products consumed by our beloved consumers-voters with clear instructions for adequate use and application. Our new social services from the “National Institute for Consumption” appoint educated and trained professionals in case the product application is complex or not clearly written on the label. Our professionals shall responsibly supervise whether the instructions on the product are well-understood and carried out – if not, for all consumers-voters who, for any reason, fail to conform to adequate behaviour we have organized a social programme for adapting to life in an ordered society, free of charge.

###Cost free social programme for adapting to life in an ordered society
Cost free social programme for adapting to life in an ordered society
is the greatest international humanitarian initiative in history and it is carried out worldwide by a well-known and easily available means of TV. This ingenious and visionary programme is a work of Dr. Omnihauer, an Austrian doctor, and it has been developing virtually from the onset of television. “After more than 80 years of scientific research this visionary concept reaches its full potential today. Apart from constantly informing and educating people worldwide via a TV programme, we are now able to carry out special medical therapies within this TV programme.” – Omnihauer said at the presentation of the Free programme for life in an ordered society.

This humane man with such an ingenious approach, made it possible for us, the consumers, not to notice the realization of the medical treatment by consuming the everyday TV programme. The great benefactor Omnihauer went further in his industrial-inventive-medical project. His whole life work, virtually a centennial concept and methods he has been developing for so long, was handed over in form of a simple sketch/concept to “Consumer News Corporation”. The world’s largest company today “Consumer News Corporation” from China, of which all members of the International Alliance of Lulled Nations are proud of, is now the owner of Omnihauer’s patent and is already implementing it tirelessly in more than 190 countries worldwide. All worldwide TV channels, all shows, ads and news – a medical treatment completely free for all consumers worldwide.

Consumers-voters treated easily carry out the programme of adapting to life in an ordered society. In pleasant surroundings, without being transported to a foreign country for medical help, they are being offered the best TV programme with refreshments.

###Removal of inadequate behaviour
City waterworks in cooperation with “
National Institute for Consumption”, after decades of scientific research in countries worldwide, are implementing a very responsible and serious project of suppressing inadequate and bad behaviour. This is the biggest project of this type since the WWII and is similar to consumer’s teeth protection by fluoride solution in the tap water (which is being carried out for more than 70 years). However this project goes even further and includes sophisticated science-based technologies specially adapted to remove all unwanted states of mind of consumers. The experimental phase in certain cities showed successful removal of negative psychological processes in 99.8% of consumers. “National Institute of Consumption” proudly announces the realization of this project in our country. Owing to our efficient economy, consumers-voters shall receive this psychological-medical treatment completely free of charge. The realization is scheduled to start in autumn this year and it shall not demand additional engagement of consumers-voters.

Scientists have been trying to remove psychological disorders such as “happiness” ever since 1992, you can read the pioneer works on scientific magazine Medical Ethics web portal:

###Proactive programme for infants
Also, as a nation, we proud ourselves in very successful national programme of early vandalism and psychotic behaviour detection. All infants’ DNA is being scanned at a national level and adequately treated. This programme has practically uprooted all kinds of protests in public areas and we are proud of it. We are now a part of
International Institute of Lulled Nations which consume the newest and best products on the market. These types of programmes are being continuously improved and carried out for the sake of this nation’s children and their future.

###Safe Internet for Safe Consumers
The International Organization of Internet Consumers /
ConsumInt has this morning, in its Beijing press centre, released a public statement that the level of quality Internet consumption has reached its highest value in history. Also, all companies-founders of ConsumInt said that they have prepared the best of the best for the next season of Internet consumptions – tailor-made data and information packages with regard to the consumers-voters’ needs. Consumers-voters shall consume the information on the Internet specially tailored to their sex, age, religion, political beliefs, health, education, Social environment and climate.

After the Internet 3.0 ten years ago, the largest IT companies, owners of communication cables, satellites and servers have joined in a specialized study-project with the goal to deliver the best tailor-made Internet content to the consumers. After a whole decade of research and work on such a complex task (a very long time for the IT age) ConsumInt proudly states that the product is finally ready for consumption. ConsumInt even predicts that this product does not need to be changed as long as human physiology is the same as it is now. This practically means that a completely adequate and desirable informational mechanism for mankind today has been found.

In all aspects of human life, the reactions to this achievement are great and significant. The economy department of ConsumINt says “that for the first time in the history a stable model of exponential income to international financial reserves had been made. The culturologists of ConsumInt boldly and enthusiastically speak of this tailor-made and omnipresent Internet product as “a total human knowledge, culture and creativity utilized – as a unified product which is necessary and essential to all”. The most popular and read writer of today, Xiju Dfm whose segments of a visionary book have been used for the concept of this product itself, says for the Beijing Press: “The unified and universal vision – the need of all consumers has spoken through me and my written words. I am at the same time the most influential man who ever lived and the most insignificant man who has ever lived. I have ceased to exist by this total affirmation. Sometimes I really do lack the capacity to feel myself and the world around me. I am not sure whether to thank the humanity, myself, God, ConsumInt or my mother.”

Xiju has sold 6.5 billion (out of which an astonishing 6.45 billion read) special electronic copies of his book “I am not a man, I am a consumer.” for the past year. Xiju Dfm has become the world’s most read writer in the history of human civilization in two and a half years of his membership in the Steering Committee of ConsumInt. The scale of his influence supersedes all authors in history together by 5 times. He is an honorary lifelong member of the publishing sector of ConsumInt.

End of text/news from the future

###I would love if somebody did a News of today-type dramatization of these texts. A classical commie-style News with a conservative old-school speaker. That would be sooooo cool.###


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